Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The real state of intoxication

I am always drunk!

My Gtalk status message says,” I am always drunk”, so does my PC wallpaper. The title of this blog also states the same words. I doubt if there is any person on this earth reading these lines who wont call me a fool, a cynic or may be a a***ole who is unsure what he wants to prove. Once a TL in my office had a look at my PC and she was not amused as well. People ask me if I had been smitten in love for I once proved that a beer is better than a woman. Yes it’s about some kind of love & passion, but not about a girl. And please, don’t make your mind run helter-skelter, I am straight.

Well, the message is not about alcohol.

I like beer but I can’t risk my job, coming to work with a beer on my breath; or visiting my parents with my eyes red. I’ll narrate a small incident to clear the haze off. Once an anti-reservation group was boozing out and in a fit of rage they made a plan to kill union HRD minister the RDB (Rang de basanti) style, everything was finalized and they dozed off. The next morning, all woke up and ridiculed each other of thinking so filmsical. When I tried some leg pulling and asked when they gonna materialize their “noble” motive, one of them said,” arre, we were drunk yar, everybody say blah-blah while drunk” and he was right too. You make obscure promises, repeat a line endlessly while drunk, and once the alcohol relieves your mind, you forget it or just smile it off.

And that is what my point is. All those who have been forced to read this space, have been persuaded coz I thought reading such stuff might prick a little, the hearts of janta which is always looking agape at the west. I projected myself as a patriotic, nation lover, anti foreign companies and someone who hates the encroachment of Americanism in our social and cultural values. And I talk all this endlessly. Mailing friends to read it, people say would never make any difference and this weekend I thought they are right, coz if writing such stuff doesn’t change the author how can the audience be expected to believe him?

I feel I talk that way coz I have been drunk, drunk all the way and while writing this again I am drunk. I just talk, just write about it only apparently while I am not what you think I am!

A few days back I was watching a Doordarshan morning show, for our set-top box was out of order and I really appreciated the classical sitar show. While taking on my ablutions, I raised the volume a bit and it was a nice experience. I was appalled to think whether our next generation would even be able to think about an instrument of the name of sitar, sarod or shehnai while they grow up watching today’s satellite channels? I continued with the Doordarshan and discovered public awareness campaigns about women empowerment and global warming. I had a sudden feeling of distrust for all the Stars, Sonys and Zees. Because I was drunk!

When that spirit was down, I was fed up of the ‘poor’ programming and I turned it off since I couldn’t get my Discovery, ESPN, Mtv and History channels back.

I hate the mall culture and over use of English but yesterday I bought a Reebok, backpack and to my surprise, mysteriously talked to the sales personnel in English. I don’t think if I am not working for a greedy foreign company, is any product that I have worked upon in my government firm reached the market. Have I generated any revenues for the nation? I have just been a silly parasite and use government resources for blogging and chatting! A ‘Liberty’ or ‘Action’ is just as fine but I bought a Reebok pair of shoes. And I don’t remember the moment when I bought an idiotic Jockeys’. My favorite shirt is a Levis’ and I bought a Titan coz I couldn’t afford a Swatch or Rado!

Oh! My speech is slurring now, after-all I m drunk! I don’t know if all that you have just read defines my state of inebriation or is it just what people brag about while they are drunk. I doubt would I be able to explain my wallpaper to the TL or she’ll continue considering me a stupid!

Well to shrug off something, which you spat while drunk, you need to sleep and wake up to a new day. But what can I do, I sleep for 8 hours but this way I am suffering from insomnia! The way my deeds and words are so opposite, I feel even if I sleep one day, I’ll wake up with fresh booze in my mouth…

P.S. People say that a drunkard think that he sings well while drunk, I feel I sing well all the time! I am alwayzzz drunk…

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