DIARY 2007

Again for the 20^th time, a year is changing. Of course I am 23 but for first four occasions, it was not even a change of date. Then it started off as a time after which in my school notebook, I used to miss the year part of the date for half of the January. Then when exams really started to give a nerve in standard 10^th, a new year was the year of exams, an official bugle for studying. After another two years, it was a new year for career, a new year for new direction in life. Year 2002 came with both fears and promises of a better life after school, the year of IIT dreams ad NIT blues.

For next three years, a year change was a time for fun with friends, bacchanals and making anonymous calls to 01742-238112. And 2006 started with a joy of being placed in a good company along with the last semester of engineering, something we used to refer as the last six months of real life. The six months flew past like nothing and the worst transition of life blew up the soul, for something, if not better, then at least cool. “My own money”, my own hard earned money, though it was not hard in any ways in 2006.

Then 2007 was about to start and December 2006 went by planning for the last official interaction with the alma mater. December 31, I tried to fall in love. I failed! In the night Jonathan (one of my great friends) and me couldn’t even jugad a single drop of ethanol. Jan 1 came with a little blast but it also ended up on a sad note. That time a tiny superstitious corner of my mind was afraid of the coming year. Jan 21 was on of the best days of this year at the college convocation. A defiant me at the Jan end tried again to fall in love. An adamant me failed again. I knew that it was going to be a year of not much success. But on a positive note I started earning my ‘hard earned money’ the hard way.

Feb went past unnoticed but March cracked the whip again on my back. My father got hold of my bank account statement for filing tax returns and then I was forced to realize the value of hard earned money. Even though I still doubt that value but my parents rafted me into the evil whirlpool of fixed deposits. I started saving 2000 but as one gets down the whirlpool speed increases, and so do my father’s desire to save as much as 6000. Life had become a bit tougher.

May-June gave a new hope when I thought if I ll earn more, I can have much more to spend while still putting aside my papa’s six grand. Discussion with all my near and dear ones brought an aspiration for IIM. July brought a pleasant surprise.

The next three months I spent working a bit hard to ultimately achieve my first true success. A successful failure. Earlier I had never missed anything I had my eyes on. There were disappointments but those were not true failures. In fact every time I knew that a failure can be there and I knew how to assimilate it. Probably it was the over confidence that engulfed me because of a glorious past, or because I am not capable. I asked myself the same question for the next week and finally I was happy to know that the second part of the question was not relevant.

Finally December was my month. After all that happened and un-happened, I had my lesson inscribed right on the correct part of my brain. A failure doesn’t mean that life is over, life is very generous and it gives a million chances to fail again.

And a billion to succeed. Its all what we got to see.

And a superstitious me now believe that the year of failure if going to end to give way to a new year with hope and success visible on the horizon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR